The Weekly James

2003-04-22T00:41:00.000-04:00

OLD, GIFTED AND BLACK: Just saw on Drudge that Nina Simone has died at age 70, which is a real shame. We're big fans of hers around the house; I've left instructions with Claire that when I die, I am to be wheeled out of Surly Jack's Discount Funeral Caravan and Bait Shop to the strains of Simone singing, "To Be Young, Gifted and Black" - a trifecta of irony that should put the "fun" back in "funeral."

2003-04-22T00:37:00.000-04:00

IF YOU'VE BEEN WONDERING WHERE I'VE BEEN LATELY, I've been working on a new essay-blog site, DuckSeason. Pithy posts will resume here shortly, while longer rants will live over there.

2003-04-17T00:53:00.000-04:00

SO CLAIRE JUST GOT BACK FROM SYDNEY'S SECOND-GREATEST WINE STORE where she was buying a bottle of champers for our first wedding anniversary, which is Saturday. (The first anniversary, as it happens, is the "paper" anniversary; anyone wishing to give the folding kind can via the Make a Donation button to the right). Not sure what to buy, she asked for some guidance in selecting a bottle of bubbly. When a helpful clerk said, "well, all our French champagne is over here," she cut him off and said, "no, I'm looking for something Australian; we're boycotting the French in our house."

His response was simply priceless: "That's great. You know, I've never forgiven them for what they did to the Rainbow Warrior."

But it gets better.

"Oh, it's not because of that," Claire replied. "It's because of the war."

"You mean you're...pro-war?" the clerk said, stunned.

"No, we're simply anti-Saddam Hussein," answered Claire, who then was wise enough to cut off the debate by telling the clerk, "but you know, even though we probably disagree on just about everything in the world, we can still be united by a love of wine and a hatred of the French!"

And really, when it comes down to it, is there anything more to life?

2003-04-09T22:54:00.000-04:00

STEPHEN DEN BESTE suggests that Iraqi Information Minister Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf has a lot to offer potential employers, now that regime change has forced him to pursue opportunities in the private sector. Amongst Mohammed's qualifications are

— Total and unquestioning dedication to the cult of his employer
— Able to deliver even the most blatant lie with a totally straight face
— Completely impervious to criticism and ridicule
— No apparent shame defending absurd claims during press conferences
— A facility for particularly clever epithets and curses against his opponents

Of course being a computer geek, Den Beste thinks an ideal new job would be to shill for Apple. Instead, I reckon Mohammed could find work as Monty Burns' new assistant, should Waylon Smithers ever decide to retire to a private retreat with his, um, life partner.

That Smithers better watch his ass. So to speak.

2003-04-08T03:46:00.000-04:00

I WAS GOING TO POST today about the relentless whininess coming out of Tim Dunlop's site lately - and who can blame him, forced as he is to cry into already weak American beer as the war comes to a quick conclusion without massive, protestable casualties on either side - but Gareth Parker beat me to it.

Christ, I feel sorry for Mrs. Dunlop. Can you imagine domestic life around Casa del Dunlop?

"Tim, honey, did you mow the lawn?"

"How can I mow the lawn when truth is the first casualty of war, and there won't be another Leunig cartoon for four days?"

"Um, OK, can you watch the kids while I run to the store?"

"Well, I guess, but it will only make me wonder how many baby milk factories have been blown up by the CIA that we haven't heard about..."
But don't feel too bad, Tim. Ever since Bubba left the White House, the patch of grass off the Rock Creek Parkway where that nut always stood with the "IMPEACH CLINTON" sign is now free for you to take over with Bush-hating placards of your own.

2003-04-07T23:17:00.000-04:00

JUST ASKING: If so many American soldiers live in poverty, and Saddam Hussein's palaces are gaudy pleasure-domes, how come the Left won't support the war as an exercise in economic revolution?

No war but class war, indeed.

2003-04-07T22:31:00.000-04:00

SARS IS ON THE MARCH. It's a good thing the Europeans have found a cure.

2003-04-07T22:30:00.000-04:00

COULD THIS BE THE END?

BAGHDAD, Iraq, April 8 — A U.S. Air Force warplane dropped four enormous bombs Monday on a residential neighborhood where “extremely reliable” intelligence information indicated that Iraqi President Saddam Hussein and his two sons were staying, senior administration officials told NBC News. The sources would not rule out the possibility that Saddam could have moved before the planes struck, but they said it was highly likely that he and his sons were dead if they were still there when the bombs hit.

2003-04-07T21:37:00.000-04:00

I WONDER HOW THE FRENCH WOULD'VE HANDLED THIS:

High drama developed today when two Greenpeace protesters managed to climb from speeding rubber dinghies and clamp themselves to the bow and stern of HMAS Sydney, stopping it leaving the harbour after being farewelled by Prime Minister John Howard.

A high-speed rubber dinghy managed to act as a decoy to police boats while another dinghy pulled alongside the bows of the frigate as it cruised towards the heads.

One of the protesters, dressed in climbing gear, managed to attach some form of clamp to the side of the warship and rappel himself up.

You know, I've called anti-war protesters idiots before, but this is ridiculous.

Especially since the war is, for all intents and purposes, over. So much so that the barista at my local cappucino joint has taken off his "No War!" button.

2003-04-03T16:16:00.000-05:00

MOVING RIGHT ALONG: Just woke up, turned on the TV, and heard that the noose is tightening around Baghdad - apparently, the airport has just fallen.

2003-04-03T00:54:00.000-05:00

MEANWHILE, AUSSIE TIM MATE is still having serious blogger problems. But never fear! Fresh installments of the wit and wisdom of Mr. Blair are being served up at Blogs of War.

2003-04-02T14:40:00.000-05:00

OUR MATE, SADDAM! So yesterday's "Books Not Bombs" march for Saddam in Sydney was a lot more peaceful than last week's, which degenerated into an orgy of screaming and chair-flinging that had to be busted up by the cops. (Sounds a lot like the last family reunion I went to...) However, all was not quiet; the Stars-and-Stripes got torched, and even the Herald, which is normally highly circumspect about reporting the misdeeds of those who, shall we say, need a compass to say their bedtime prayers, notes:

Police made 10 arrests by late afternoon, although none related to crowd behaviour at the gathering. One naked woman who was not a protester was charged with obscene exposure, and a 15-year-old youth who was identified from police video footage faces charges related to burning papers at last week's march.

A further eight youths were charged after a breakaway group of about 50, chanting in Arabic, ran amok in Darling Harbour and then doubled back to the city.

This is being generous. The TV footage I saw on Channel Ten showed large numbers of Arab-looking high school kids in the crowd, mostly young toughs, and reportedly, they got into a scuffle with at least one media crew. (The ironies of a naked woman protesting against modernizing a culture with a hatred of naked women, and of protesters beating up the people who would help get their message, are too delicious and/or invigorating to contemplate). Even more, when confronted with a camera. one group of these kids started yelling sentiments along the lines of "We're all Arab mates!" and "Saddam's our mate, and we Arabs stick together!"

Stupidity like this just underlines the destructive nature of ethnic separatism in free socities. And the blowback from this explicit endorsement of the enemy is going to be tremendous, especially after last year's epidemic of gang rapes in western Sydney by Lebanese teens. For all the worries that Muslim "leaders" here have about anti-Islamic and anti-Arab prejudice, they sure don't seem to be doing a lot to stop their fellow hyphenated Australians (hyphenated by choice, it should be noted) from giving the so-called "majority culture" reason to be suspicious, to say the least.

2003-04-02T14:20:00.000-05:00

RIDICULOUS BLOGGER PROBLEMS: It only very occasionally lets me post a damn thing anymore. Anyone else having this trouble? In the meantime, check out DuckSeason, a brand-new group essay-blog with which I'm involved and which will play home to some of my lengthier ramblings...

2003-04-01T16:59:00.000-05:00

LIKE HE NEEDS THE TRAFFIC: When you plug the ABC's version of this site's name, "the Daily James", into Google, what's the third result you get? Lilek's Bleat!

2003-04-01T05:46:00.000-05:00

WELCOME TO THE DAILY JAMES! ABC's 7:30 Report segment on Australian bloggers, including myself, Gareth Parker, John Quiggin and Gianna ("just Gianna") ran a little while ago; apparently they have a shortage of fact-checkers over there because they referred to this site as the "Daily James". (Perhaps Labor will propose a special "clue levy" on income tax to help rectify this). Other than that, thought it came out pretty well, despite little politically correct ABC-isms like the off-hand - and inaccurate - complaint that blogs are mostly a bloke thing (tell that to Michelle, Angie, Andrea, or Diane, to name a few. And the segment in which Claire asks to use the computer while Nicholas toddles around reminded me a bit of Homer Simpson proudly reporting, "It isn't easy to juggle a troubled child and a pregnant wife, but somehow I managed to squeeze in eight hours of TV a day."

Anyway, sorry for the lack of posts lately; been having BlogSpot problems the last couple of days, but it seems to be working again. And watch this space for news of another exciting Weekly (er, Daily?) James Web project, and a report on the predictable hilarity that ensued when I wound up at a first-birthday party this weekend held by a virulently anti-American dad who was also a home-brewer.

I was going to say how the show was so old media, what with the two camera guys that spent three hours in my house to get three minutes of footage and the transcript that keeps referring to the "bloggersphere", but I realized the huge Blogger outage I've been caught up in lately kinda shows "new" media ain't always what it's cracked up to be.

2003-03-29T16:00:00.000-05:00

SLOPPY JOURNALISM AT THE HERALD? Say it ain't so!

2003-03-29T15:44:00.000-05:00

GOD BLESS FOX:

Fox News had its own response to the demonstrators. The news ticker rimming Fox's headquarters on Sixth Avenue wasn't carrying war updates as the protest began. Instead, it poked fun at the demonstrators, chiding them.

"War protester auditions here today ... thanks for coming!" read one message. "Who won your right to show up here today?" another questioned. "Protesters or soldiers?"

Said a third: "How do you keep a war protester in suspense? Ignore them."

Still another read: "Attention protesters: the Michael Moore Fan Club meets Thursday at a phone booth at Sixth Avenue and 50th Street" - a reference to the film maker who denounced the war while accepting an Oscar on Sunday night for his documentary "Bowling for Columbine."

Yes, it was a silly thing to do. Yes, they'll take some flack for this. But, damn, it's a funny idea. (Via Sgt. Stryker)

2003-03-27T17:06:00.000-05:00

REMEMBER KARNAK? For those who don't, he was an old Johnny Carson character who would predict the the answer to a question in an envelope, usually three names that would be the set-up for some joke. (Johnny: "The Skipper, Gilligan, Chief Wiggum...Name three castaways!" Ed: "Hi-OH!")

This morning, readers of the Sydney Morning Herald are playing Karnak on the letters page, holding an envelope to their brow, and reciting the names John Howard, Tony Blair, George W. Bush. Then, after ceremonially opening the envelope, they reveal the question: Who is responsible for the violent student protests around Australia a few days ago?

Not surprisingly, the page is full of the opinions of people who think that, somehow, ridding the world of a man who represents a real threat to both global security and the citizens of his prison of a country, is just as sleazy as tearing through downtown and flinging cafe chairs at cops, so why get in a lather about either? Here's Rose Bay's Fred Jansohn:

The deliberate and all-too transparent political machinations behind the pro-war lobby are of themselves steeped in violence. The events unfolding in Iraq at present are the ultimate and unacceptably violent outcome of this policy.

Is there any real difference in kind underlying the motivations behind the violence that erupted in Sydney yesterday and that which is playing itself out in Iraq, other than that yesterday's would have us understand that what is happening in Iraq is of an order and extent that must, at all costs, be avoided?

The last time Jansohn was published in the Herald, just seven weeks ago, he was putting his faith in a Franco-German solution, saying in a fairly offensive turn of phrase that it would be an alternative to "all-out blitzkrieg". And, then as now, the Herald saw fit to put his missive at the top of the page.

Meanwhile, diversity-industry mooch Cristina Pebaque of Sans Souci jams so many false moral equivalencies into one paragraph that the page is threatening to tear under the weight of it all:

While such behaviour is unacceptable, it has many similarities with the behaviour of Messrs Howard, Bush and Blair. This war is the embodiment of aggression, violence and illegal behaviour, and this is what young people are witnessing from our political leaders. The hypocrisy involved in condemning the powerless for exhibiting the same behaviour of the powerful astounds me.

Mercifully, the Herald actually printed a few letters from people who think rioting tykes should be condemned (and I would add "have their skulls meet the business-end of a police baton"). But it's clear on whose side the Herald stands: after all, the letters page today is headlined, "Students copy their elders in aggression".

Oy.

2003-03-27T16:33:00.000-05:00

TAX DOLLARS AT WORK, PART DEUX: Apparently the 7:30 Report segment on blogs is, possibly, going to air tonight. Apologies to all who tuned in last night and were subjected to an in-depth special report, "Why Iraq Is Exactly Like Vietnam" instead.

2003-03-26T18:45:00.000-05:00

YOUR TAX DOLLARS AT WORK: It's not confirmed, but I think the 7:30 Report segment on OzBloggers (including yours truly) will air tonight on the ABC.

Again, check listings for time and station.

2003-03-26T06:17:00.000-05:00

VIOLENT PEACE PROTESTERS? Believe it. Here in Sydney, a so-called "Books Not Bombs" protest - an organized children's crusade in which schoolkids ditch class to run amok in protest of George Bush, John Howard, and historical facts and world realities that are apparently no longer taught in Australian classrooms - turned into a mini-riot, as this raw video shows.

According to Reuters, one of the placards of the protesters - who flung chairs and plastic bottles and threw punches at cops - read, "We are ready to fight, world peace is our right."

Meanwhile, here's an interesting tidbit that is sure to be spun wildly in the morning papers:

It was unclear why the Sydney rally turned into a riot. Some students said police refused to allow them to march. Others said it was the arrest of a young girl that sparked the violence.

Police blamed a small group of Middle Eastern youths.

UPDATE: It wasn't just Sydney that fell victim to these irony-free peace-loving bottle-chuckers. Perth saw similar action yesterday. Meanwhile, the Daily Telegraph has more info on the Syndey riot, including more photos and the revelation that knives were found on some of the protesters.

2003-03-25T10:34:00.000-05:00

WELL, IT LOOKS LIKE THE U.N. is still trying to queer the liberation of Iraq, even if it's through cheesy public relations campaigns. I just saw an ad for UNICEF asking for donations to help bring food and water to Iraq. The ad's slogan, which was voiced over footage of happy kids playing while their well-veiled moms look on?

"Kids don't start wars. But wars kill kids".

You see, in the moral calculus of U.N. fans, America "started" the war, thus America is killing kids, thus the U.N. needs to ride in and save the day. Because, as Helen Lovejoy says, "won't somebody please think of the children?"

Of course, it aired at 2:30 AM Sydney time, in the middle of an episode of "Freaks and Geeks" I flipped over to because I was sick of watching the BBC feed on Aunty, so it probably only reached a few other semi-employed misfits like myself and won't make any dent in the opinion polls one way or the other.

2003-03-25T09:30:00.000-05:00

IF YOU'RE NOT OSCARED-OUT, check out my latest effort in The Australian, where I take on Susan Sarandon, Michael Moore, Frida Kahlo, the Dixie Chicks, and Irish Setters.

2003-03-25T01:45:00.000-05:00

SPENT THE AFTERNOON with a crew from ABC's 7:30 Report talking about blogging and the war and stuff. Managed to plug an awful lot of other quality Web sites, including yours.

Should be airing in a day or two; check local listings for time and station.

2003-03-24T19:42:00.000-05:00

THE BUNYIP IS BACK!

2003-03-24T13:19:00.000-05:00

BY THE NUMBERS: Something like seventeen American troops died in combat yesterday, a fact which at first glance - and to hear the television commentators tell it - represent a real setback for Coalition forces ("you mean they're shooting back? with real bullets?) But while every one of those losses is a real shame, it's hardly a disaster. Not only are American, British and Australian soldiers practically on Baghdad's doorstep, but seventeen Americans dying in combat in a single bad day doesn't mean the sky is falling. After all

Between 135 and 150 Americans die every day from HIV or HIV-related disease
Over 1,000 Americans die every day from smoking-related diseases
About 4,600 Americans die every day from preventable chronic diseases
Around 15 or so Americans die every day at their workplace due to unintentional accidents.
Sixteen Americans die every day awaiting an organ transplant

And I could go on (and I know that some of these statistics may be inflated by advocacy groups). Anyway, my point is not to minimize the casualties, but to keep things in perspective. This is, after all, a war - and as has been pointed out by plenty of others, it's a dangerous business no matter how many leaflets urging surrender have been dropped on Iraq.

Fortunately, it seems like the American people instinctively know this, and haven't lost their stomachs for the war - despite a media that has looked, in the main, to portray support for combat as a mile wide and an inch deep, ready to dry up at the first spilt blood.

2003-03-23T19:59:00.000-05:00

WHAT IS THIS? THE CARTER ADMINISTRATION? I'm all in favor of public gestures supportive of coalition troops - hell, I'd hang Old Glory off my front terrace, if all the local appeasniks hadn't snapped up Sydney's supply for their own foul purposes - but sometimes good intentions go astray.

That's what's happened at New York's Intrepid Sea-Air-Space Museum (which is housed on a mothballed aircraft carrier in the Hudson River), where officials have tied a giant yellow ribbon around the boat:

“It's a symbolic gesture on our part to want their safe return and speedy return back to the United States,” said retired Colonel Tom Tyrrell of the museum. “We just wanted to let people know that we're thinking about them.”

This gives me the willies. One of my earliest memories is of the hostage crisis in Tehran, when the feckless (and Saddam-installing) Jimmy Carter dithered, Iranians brutalized our diplomats, and Americans tied yellow ribbons to anything they could find in a symbolic plea for freedom.

The yellow ribbon symbolizes American weakness, and the desire to bring our guys home at any price. This is exactly the wrong message to be sending right now, when American troops are fighting and winning, even as some have been captured by Iraqi thugs.

2003-03-23T19:23:00.000-05:00

NO SHIT, SHERLOCK! When it comes to headlines, leave it to the Sydney Morning Herald to give you the straight scoop:

Soldier suspected of camp grenade attack had 'attitude problem'

The murdering, traitorous scum (ahem, I mean, "suspect") is a fella named Asan Akbar (that's "Akbar" as in ""Allahu Akbar"), yet oddly no mention is made of his religion in the AP reports the Herald and everyone else are quoting. (Indeed, the always-excellent Little Green Footballs has discovered that Akbar's faith has been scrubbed from the wires).

Now I know that we're all supposed to give everyone the benefit of the doubt, but given that Muslims make up one percent of the US Armed Forces, one has to ask "what are the odds?" [Um, one in a hundred?--Ed. Oh, don't be a smartass!--James] Especially considering the ideas of some of the other practitioners of the religion of peace.

2003-03-23T15:25:00.000-05:00

JUST WOKE UP TO HEAR that American prisoners have been taken in Iraq, and that a chemical facility has been discovered (both stories over at Glenn Reynolds).

If early reports of torture are true, I reckon this will get the American street mobilized for the war in a way we haven't seen before, and the gloves will well and truly be off. People who know me will tell you I'm a very laid-back, non-aggressive guy without a trace of anger simmering just under the surface [Ha!--Ed.] but already, I want to see the cinders dance. Remember: this ain't no Somalia, Bush ain't no Clinton, and he's not fooling around.

No posting for about eight hours. Monday is when Claire heads off to school, so I get to spend a Lileks-like day with young Master Nicholas. Unfortunately, it's also pissing rain - the first time this has happened on a Monday - so I guess it's eight hours of letting him pull everything off the first three bookshelves over and over and again.

2003-03-23T08:16:00.000-05:00

DUMB LETTERS TO THE EDITOR don't only get published in Sydney. Misha reports a few even make it into print in Texas!

2003-03-23T07:50:00.000-05:00

NON-WAR-RELATED TV NOTES: Apologies to non-Aussie visitors, but these new ads for Cougar Bourbon, with the bar full of wankers sporting beer guts and mall-chain haircuts all ordering the same drink to get a look at the barmaid's goodies, must be the least effective marketing campaign ever. Even considering that Cougar really isn't even real bourbon, who would want to be like those guys?

On the other hand, the Pork Council (or whatever they're called) commercials, in which a couple gets all hot and bothered over a tenderloin, are hysterical.

2003-03-22T18:38:00.000-05:00

I'M NOT SURE WHO IT WAS, but a little while ago on the ITN feed Sydney's Channel 9 has been running, a female newsreader actually referred to "last night's appallingly heavy bombing of Baghdad..."

Way to play it straight, sister.

2003-03-22T14:37:00.000-05:00

GIVING LIE TO THE LACK OF A LINK: An Australian ABC cameraman, Paul Moran, was killed by a car bomb in northern Iraq, thought to be set off by the Islamic fundamentalist Ansar al-Islam terrorist group.

Tragic as it is, perhaps this very in-character activity by al-Qaeda linked terrorists in Iraq will chip a few of the scales off the eyes of all those who thought there was no way Saddam Hussein would ever work with Osama bin Laden, given that one is a socialist nutball and the other is a Muslim nutball.

2003-03-21T14:36:00.000-05:00

I'M WATCHING A RE-PLAY of the bombing raids of a little while ago - which Channel 7 is now reporting destroyed the HQ of Iraqi Intelligence - and I keep hearing the rattle of anti-aircraft fire. Which, if you're a Westerner half-way concerned with civilian casualties, is to borrow a phrase from the New York Times editorial board, "troubling".

Now certainly several hundred bombs, no matter how precision-guided, are going to kill some ordinary Iraqis. But how many deaths are going to be caused by the ridiculous practice of firing gigantic bullets in "self-defense" that have not a prayer of hitting planes that fly too high to be hit, and at some (reportedly 300+) cruise missiles that are too small and quick and agile to draw a bead on? After all, what goes up must come down, and in the last Gulf war, not a single F-117 fighter, for example, was hit by anti-aircraft fire over Baghdad. Yet a good deal of damage to the city was caused by these defensive munitions falling prey to the immutable laws of gravity.

Of course, this is a habit of the Iraqi government, and indeed people everywhere with little respect for international law or the laws of physics. Iraqi civilians have reportedly been killed as a result of firing at routine no-fly zone patrols over the last decade. Hell, even Americans have been killed or injured in the U.S. by "terminal velocity" at various celebrations like Mardi Gras and New Year's Eve.

The interesting question then becomes, if American military force can tempt the Iraqi military into behaving as moronically as a bunch of drunken Mardi Gras or New Year's Eve revelers, how long before the force of American culture gets Iraqi university students to whip off their tops for "Spring Break Basra: Girls Gone Wild"?

I give it five years. I can't wait.

2003-03-21T14:03:00.000-05:00

WELL, IN THE LAST TWELVE HOURS, it looks like the shock and awe campaign has begun. I just watched some of Rumsfeld's briefing - couldn't watch the whole thing because the broadcast networks kept cutting away - but it sounds like reporters were trying to get a rise out of the SecDef, comparing the bombing to Dreden or Tokyo or some such.

2003-03-20T22:07:00.000-05:00

TED KOPPEL SAYS the first tanks are moving into Iraq at this moment, just at the break of dawn local time.

2003-03-20T21:46:00.000-05:00

BRITAIN'S ITN IS REPORTING that a Marine Chinook helicopter has gone down with sixteen people on board somewhere in Kuwait. Obviously, we hope for the best, though apparently it "doesn't look good" - i.e., a bunch of American guys may have lost their lives doing their job. And, like it or not, there will be more like them before it's all over.

Tellingly, the British correspondents are saying the chopper "was downed", which suggests that it was shot at, rather than simply crashed - at this point, the more likely possibility. Schadenfreude, anyone?

UPDATE: Here's the Reuters report, which doesn't say much either.

UPDATE II: Apparently all 16 - and the report I heard was that some Brits were on board as well - are dead. R.I.P.

2003-03-20T20:56:00.000-05:00

I JUST SAW a clip of Hans Blix on al-Jazeera, asserting that as far as he can tell, there's no proof that Iraq has weapons of mass destruction. What a wanker.

2003-03-20T20:42:00.000-05:00

WHILE PROTESTERS keep on making headlines, Australians, like Britons and Americans, are getting on side with the war now that the chips are down. According to polling outfit Roy Morgan, a majority of Australians now supports America's action in Iraq, and the number of Australians supporting their own country's involvement is closing in on fifty percent as well.

This is probably for a variety of reasons, not the least of which being that the anti-war brigades never had arguments - hell, they barely had sentences. "No war!" may be a sentiment, a demand, but it is not a tenable debating position. Ironic, considering that "a debate" was was the left most wanted on the war.

UPDATE: Then again, maybe people just find the peace movement incredibly gross.

2003-03-20T20:31:00.000-05:00

ONE MORE REASON why I'm glad I don't use a Mac:

CUPERTINO, California—March 19, 2003—Apple® today announced that Albert Gore Jr., the former Vice President of the United States, has joined the Company’s Board of Directors. Mr. Gore was elected at Apple’s board meeting today.

“Al brings an incredible wealth of knowledge and wisdom to Apple from having helped run the largest organization in the world—the United States government—as a Congressman, Senator and our 45th Vice President. Al is also an avid Mac user and does his own video editing in Final Cut Pro,” said Steve Jobs, Apple’s CEO. “Al is going to be a terrific Director and we’re excited and honored that he has chosen Apple as his first private sector board to serve on.”

Hell, it's a pretty natural move if you think about it. I mean, why shouldn't Apple hire the guy who invented the Internet? (Via ColdFury).

2003-03-20T20:18:00.000-05:00

STEVEN DEN BESTE has some good thoughts about keeping news in perspective in the fog of war. Which is good, because Channel 9 has been broadcasting an ITN feed featuring a news reader getting verrrry hot and bothered over a "massive" explosion in Basra.

Um, it's called a war, guys...

2003-03-20T19:33:00.000-05:00

AND THE GROUND WAR HAS BEGUN.

2003-03-20T19:18:00.000-05:00

SHI'ITE LEFTIES: The Sydney Morning-Herald's letters page is a wonderful window into both the psychology of the paper's Letters editor and the dearth of argument (or, for that matter, mental stability) on the part of much of the anti-war crowd. Let's have a look at the day's first letter, written by Barbara Livesey of the ACT:

Moments ago I heard that war had begun. I cry now for the children of Iraq. I cry for our own children: how can I explain this unjust war to them?

How can we explain that we have created a world in which our only answer to injustice being committed by one dictator is to engage in more terrifying injustice, killing innocent children. It's a sad day when you wait for your children to come home from school to report this news.

For a "highly experienced policy adviser and manager",it shouldn't be that hard. Unless, of course, you're of the "For The Children" school of policy-making, in which kids are not only invoked, but imitated, at every turn. No wonder the best argument these people can come up with is "John Howard is a great big doodyhead."

Meanwhile, serial letter-writer Jeremy Spinks could use some Viagra:

For the last few days I have been feeling an overwhelming sense of impotent rage against our Government and that of the US. Today I just feel so sad.

Er, Doc, you might want to add some Prozac to the mix. Meanwhile, from an outpost close to WeeklyJames World Headquarters, Queens Park resident Rachel Ferguson writes,

As a child, Baghdad conjured up images of palaces, gold domes, exotic spices, puffy pants and flying carpets. Now, I see only blood and gore, decay and devastation, but mostly tears.

Presumably she's not referring to the decay caused by twenty years of Ba'ath Party rule, or tears of joy at the prospect of liberation. (And how can she see these tears? Is she telepathic?) Anyway, the median house price in her home suburb of Queens Park is $850,000, something to keep in mind when you read G. Garlick's letter. Quoth Garlick,

It seems to me that the people advocating no war are mostly people living in a very comfortable lifestyle, and either have no knowledge of the true situation in Iraq, or have no feelings for the plight of the Iraqi people who have suffered so much under the cruel rule of Saddam Hussein.

Amazingly, Garlick's letter got printed, despite being sandwiched amongst such drivel as Andrew McHugh's too-clever-by half assertion that

Someone's inability to correctly punch a hole in a piece of paper in a Florida voting booth [has resulted] in bombs raining down on Baghdad...Chaos theory becomes chaos fact.

Yeah, man, if only Al Gore was president, everything would be OK. Not like his campaign platform didn't include seeing Hussein "out of power" or using "America's military might against Iraq when and where it is necessary."

What to conclude from all this? Simply that the Herald is the intellectual center of the Shi'ite left, where self-flagellation is nothing more than a symbol of devotion to the cause, no matter disturbing it is for others to watch.

2003-03-20T18:38:00.000-05:00

FOR WHAT IT'S WORTH, CBS' Scott Pelley is predicting a big tank engagement in southern Iraq sometime in the next few hours.

2003-03-20T15:35:00.000-05:00

WMD WATCH: The United States has, once again, gone where the United Nations couldn't - or wouldn't. No, we're not talking about invading Iraq, but rather, getting information out of Iraqi scientists about Saddam's chemical and biological weapons programs:

The U.S. government has obtained potentially valuable new information on Iraq's biological and chemical weapons programs in recent days from scientists and intelligence agents confronted outside Iraq with threats that failure to cooperate could mean unpleasant consequences when Baghdad falls, according to two U.S. officials with direct knowledge of the effort.

In a top-secret adjunct to an openly reported diplomatic initiative, U.S. and allied intelligence services summoned scores of Iraqi operatives in foreign capitals to present a stark choice. They were told "they could either 'turn,' " said one official, using an expression for switching sides, or be expelled back to Iraq "to enjoy your very short stay in Baghdad."

"Ouch!" as they say. But there are problems with all this new information:

The Defense Department is racing to integrate the new leads into an extremely risky and ambitious disarmament mission. The quality of intelligence on Iraqi chemical, biological or nuclear weapons could not only determine the threats facing U.S. troops on the battlefield in the days ahead, but also could become a factor in conclusions around the world about whether the war was necessary...

One issue facing U.S. officials is the need for early and concrete proof of an ongoing Iraqi special weapons program even with the likelihood, as some officials see it, that the program would not be fully understood for months or years.

"A very important political component is if you find these things, how do you establish the proof of that to the satisfaction of 35 foreign ministries and those of you in the media?" said Jay Davis, who led the Defense Threat Reduction Agency until 2001 and has continued to consult on the Iraqi disarmament plan. "A large number of conspiracy theorists all over the world will say the U.S. government has planted all that stuff."

2003-03-20T15:06:00.000-05:00

BUSH will be giving a briefing soon.

2003-03-20T14:09:00.000-05:00

MEANWHILE, Channel 9 is reporting that troops are moving into Southern Iraq, where already some oil fields have been set alight.

2003-03-20T13:42:00.000-05:00

LOOKS LIKE THE "TIME OF OUR CHOOSING" is at hand.

Quoth Rumsfeld: "It will be of a force and scope and scale that has been beyond what has been seen before."

2003-03-20T06:27:00.000-05:00

A LOT OF BLOGGERS stayed up past their bedtimes, but I really hope the NRO gang lets Kathryn Jean Lopez get some sleep today!

2003-03-20T05:56:00.000-05:00

YOU'VE HEARD OF SELF-CLEANING OVENS? Libertarian.org now brings us the self-toasting Labor leader!

2003-03-20T05:37:00.000-05:00

"A TIME OF OUR CHOOSING": Just in case anyone thought that the little cruise missile strike of earlier today (yesterday for y'all on the other side of the Date Line) was the start of the war, it wasn't.

2003-03-20T05:26:00.000-05:00

SYDNEY'S INDYMEDIA PAGE is full of laughs as war begins. From self-hatred to vandalism, all the pathologies of the hard left are in overdrive.

Today, though, I saw just one pathetic-looking guy in a tie-died shirt handing out flyers against the war at the Bondi Junction train station; although Indymedia is claiming 20,000 people showed up at Town Hall (consider the source - even a caption at the Herald Web site only counts 10,000), I've barely heard a mention of it elsewhere.

2003-03-20T05:19:00.000-05:00

ALSO WHILE WE WERE EATING, a coupla missiles got lobbed at Kuwait. Can't find a link, but the teevee says nobody was hurt and that there was nothing noxious in the warheads.

UPDATE: This account says that it was a Scud missile, intercepted by a Patriot.

2003-03-20T04:54:00.000-05:00

WHILE WE WERE HAVING DINNER, John Howard addressed Australia. Aside from some truly bizarre camera work (did they hire the crew off the set of Nigella Bites?), it was a good address that hit, point-by-point, the case for war, and made some nice digs at the anti-war movement's hypocrisy, saying that "America's critics both here and abroad have been both opportunistic and inconsistent. They know and admit that weapons inspectors only returned to Iraq because of the pressure of the American military build-up. Yet they have persistently criticised American policy."

Doesn't he understand? The war isn't about Saddam Hussein - as lefty bloggers prove time and time again, it's about that cowboy Bush and awful, scary U.S. power.

2003-03-20T01:54:00.000-05:00

OF COURSE, if this first attack, which everyone seems to be saying was based on some sort of immediate human intelligence, succeeds - saving Jebus knows how many Iraqi, American, Australian, and British lives, how long before the left starts accusing Bush of committing an illegal assassination and trying to bring him up on charges in the "International Criminal Court"?

2003-03-20T01:17:00.000-05:00

IS HE ALIVE OR DEAD? Saddam Hussein has made an appearance on Iraqi TV (or at least a taped image of him did) in the wake of the first round of American attacks. Which is interesting, considering that Iraq's Information and Culture Ministers, Tweedle al-Dum and Tweedle Abu-Dee, just gave a news conference in which they demonstrated their knowledge of cab driver English (heavy on the accents and the insults) but didn't explicity answer the question of their boss' state of being.

UPDATE: CNN is asking whether the tape was recorded before or after the missiles landed. It's far too early to write the man off as dead, but one can always hope.

2003-03-19T22:02:00.000-05:00

HA-HA! Who says there hasn't been debate over the war in Australia's parliament?

2003-03-19T21:59:00.000-05:00

EXPLOSIONS HEARD AROUND BAGHDAD. It has begun.

2003-03-19T20:22:00.000-05:00

THE BEST OFFENSE is a good defect(ion):

Masses of Iraqi soldiers are deserting and senior members of President Saddam Hussein's ruling family circle are defecting as the countdown to a British and US invasion reaches its final hours.

In northern Iraq, on the border with Kurdistan, up to three-quarters of some Iraqi regiments have already fled.

In the mainly Shia Muslim south, Kuwaiti border guards are having to turn Iraqi soldiers back - telling them that they must wait until an attack begins before they can surrender.

And in a highly significant development in Baghdad a half-brother of President Saddam, who is regarded as the dictator's closest adviser, has fled in the past week to Syria.

2003-03-19T19:50:00.000-05:00

CLAIRE REPORTS THAT YESTERDAY, the first five minutes of her class at UTS were taken up by the professor's encouraging students to attend an anti-war rally taking place at Sydney's Town Hall at 5 p.m. the day the war starts in earnest. (Presumably that means today). Amazingly, she managed to keep her mouth shut - she said it was tough, but she was tempted to pursue this fantastic line of questioning - but given my cable-less situation, I may head down with the old digicam to see how the thing goes.

It should be pretty sad when the protesters realize that not even the world's biggest papier-mache puppet of George W. Bush in a cowboy hat, or the world's widest drumming circle, or even the world's most clever chant of all time, can save their beloved Saddam now.

2003-03-19T19:01:00.000-05:00

ANTI-WAR PROTESTERS HAVE SUCCEEDED in stopping testoserone-fueled men in uniform from doing battle:

Even as George Bush's 48-hour clock continues to tick, sport has already suffered some early casualties. The AFL's A-list will not assemble in Melbourne's Federation Square tonight for the official pre-season launch.

The inner-city precinct is also the venue for an anticipated anti-war protest and the league decided slogan-chanting peaceniks would not provide an appropriately festive backdrop for its cocktail party. The cancellation will cost the AFL $100,000.

Meanwhile, the Young Socceroos will not be going to the United Arab Emirates because the junior World Cup has been called off. Also under scrutiny is the Australian swimming team's scheduled showdown with the US in Indianapolis on April 6.

2003-03-19T18:02:00.000-05:00

KILLER TREATIES! Civilians could be at greater risk in Iraq, thanks to one of those wonderful international treaties the US keeps getting hectored into signing:

As U.S. troops prepare for possible battle in Baghdad, home to enemy forces and civilians alike, using tear gas to separate the two could be against the rules of war.

"It is a very awkward situation," Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld said recently.

Rumsfeld recently reminded the House Armed Services Committee that in 1997, the United States signed an international treaty banning wartime use of chemical weapons, including tear gas.

"Absent a presidential waiver, in many instances our forces are allowed to shoot somebody and kill them, but they're not allowed to use a non-lethal riot control agent under the law," Rumsfeld said.

So what's the choice? Let enemy troops go? Or risk killing civilians - with all the attendant hand-wringing?

News of chemical attacks in Iraq in 1988 helped spur the treaty on.

But when it comes to urban warfare, military experts say firing tear gas instead of bullets saves lives.

"It would incapacitate them, allowing them to be controlled by our military policemen and by our soldiers," said Lt. Col. Robert Maginnis, a Fox News military analyst. "You want to be able to segregate those hostiles out, so you can take appropriate action against them, at the same time, protect the civilians."

Meanwhile, having signed more treaties than the U.S., Australian troops are subject to greater restrictions on what they can target, which essentially means that the Mother of All Battles Mosque could be filled with more toxic gas than Homer Simpson after the Chili Festival, and its minarets and minbar would be protection enough.

The irony, of course, of not being able to use tear gas to save the lives of people whose own leader has used nerve agents on them is staggering.

2003-03-19T17:43:00.000-05:00

THIS IS RIDICULOUS. The only broadcast channel running news out of Iraq right now is SBS. And it's in Greek.

2003-03-19T15:53:00.000-05:00

BANAL NEWS TEASER OF THE DAY. And it's not even 8 AM yet. "Up next: What war would mean for the Academy Awards!"

As I said to Claire last night, I would love nothing more than an entire evening of celebrities getting up and wetting themselves about the war. After all, what better place to get the vital word out to the American public that celebrities are, by and large, dumb as a sack of rocks?

UPDATE: Tim Blair has more, and wonders if Hollywood has finally signed a "sister city" agreement with Clueville.

2003-03-19T15:38:00.000-05:00

FYI and FWIW, I'll be sitting in front of a TV blogging things as best I can without cable today. So if you're sitting around the office or the house bored out of your skull, hitting "reload" might provide an extra second or two of distraction.

UPDATE: I may or may not be playing this in the process, so things could get interesting. (Via VodkaPundit, natch).

2003-03-19T15:09:00.000-05:00

MASH LIPS, NOT BORDEAUX GRAPES! Much mail since my post on renaming anything vaguely French the other day - just about all of it regarding the problematic problem of what to call "French kissing". Canadian Larry Shapiro (who simply wants to stop capitalizing the "F" in French kissing) polled his friends, and came up with a variety of excellent suggestions, including to Chirac-whack, [Sounds like more than just kissing--Ed.] perform lipposuction, or simply bouche-whack, which still sounds suspiciously Gallic to me.

Other suggestions include Gregg Callendar's "dualling tongues", which reminds me too much of the "Duelling Banjos" sequence in Deliverance, and romantic interludes that I'd rather not think about. Bruce Libin, meanwhile, suggests "filling a political vacuum" - a behavior I thought went out with the Clinton administration.

And Casey Pechet adds, in answer to the question, "That's easy...Saddamy!"

As they say in Paris, "Too-shay!"

2003-03-19T14:10:00.000-05:00

WHITE FLAGS SUPPLIED BY THE FRENCH, NO DOUBT: Predictions that the war could be over pretty quickly, due to Iraqi soldiers surrendering en masse are looking more and more plausible:

As more than 20,000 soldiers attached to the Third Infantry Division moved close to the Iraqi border — within sight of it, in some cases — 15 Iraqi soldiers guarding the border surrendered and crossed over to Kuwait this evening, officers here said.

They are believed to be the first Iraqis to have surrendered, something the American Air Force has been actively encouraging by dropping more than 1 million leaflets in anticipation of a ground invasion.

The soldiers — not technically prisoners of war, since the war has not yet started — are in the custody of the Kuwaiti border police, said Capt. Darrin E. Theriault, commander of the headquarters company of the division's First Brigade.

Of course, as Stephen den Beste has noted, it still might not be a cakewalk; the state of morale amongst the Republican Guard might be higher, and there is always the possibility of chemical attacks.

However, this I regard as very, very good news. By the way, when I started this post, I thought for half a second about making a "hummous-eating surrender monkey" joke, but then I realized that I would be slurring the Iraqis by making too direct a link with the French. But the Iraqi people have been through enough without adding that sort of insult to injury.

UPDATE: Channel Seven reports that these prisoners are now the first official prisoners of war, and have not been sent back, as earlier reported.

2003-03-18T02:56:00.000-05:00

TAKE THAT, HOWELL! Besides the fact that their sudden love of George W. Bush's father is nothing short of stunning, the New York Times' lead editorial, War in the Ruins of Diplomacy, is also nothing short of petulant:

This war crowns a period of terrible diplomatic failure, Washington's worst in at least a generation. The Bush administration now presides over unprecedented American military might. What it risks squandering is not America's power, but an essential part of its glory.

Don't tell that to James Lileks, who deflty notes that diplomacy ain't necessarily a good thing:

The definition of diplomacy is the achievement of consensus, regardless of what the parties are agreeing upon. The act of signing paper is more important than the text to which we affix our names. I remember as a child feeling a warm sense of relief when I saw officials inking treaties with that beetle-browed gouty hack Brezhnev - how could there ever be war? We’d signed papers in front of everyone. It’s as if the devotees of diplomacy think that international negotiations are like a mortgage closing. But if mortgage closings were like Security Council resolutions, we’d all be living on the lawn, waiting for the housing inspectors to verify that the previous owners not only didn’t fix the leaky gas line, they weren't still holed up in the attic with shotguns and canned food.

2003-03-17T22:09:00.000-05:00

I'M WATCHING JOHN HOWARD in Parliament right now, where the left is showing itself to be its usual classy self. I've lost track of how many members have been "warned" for screaming in the same manner as the heckler who was hustled out before Howard even began.

Howard, meanwhile, looks resolute but pissed, and is hammering away at the idiotarians across the aisle with a steady barrage of facts.

2003-03-17T20:35:00.000-05:00

IN BASEBALL TERMS, it was a home run. In cricket, it was a six. In Canadian Football, it was worth at least three rouges.

Wouldn't have changed a word of Bush's speech.

2003-03-17T19:01:00.000-05:00

IT'S OFFICIAL: Australia is in it.

2003-03-17T16:15:00.000-05:00

DEFRENCHIFICATION! Last night while I was ostentatiously tossing and catching sizzling onions in a frying pan over the stove, it occured to me that I could no longer refer to what I was doing as "sauteing" as a result of the various anti-French boycotts.

To solve this dilemma, I suggest that Anglospheric chefs everywhere stop sauteing and start freedom frying. I plan on spending the afternoon changing my cookbooks accordingly. (Thus, instead of "saute a diced onion", "freedom-fry a diced onion", and so on). "French dressing", likewise, will now be called "victory dressing". It's a good thing my wife is a vegetarian, otherwise I'd have to come up with a new way to refer to the act of trimming the fatty bit off the bone end of lamb chops.

Also, people named "Frank" - given that the name is related to the word "French" - will now be re-christened "America" in my Rolodex.

Finally, because I am sick of the implied slurs directed at frogs - truly some of God's most cute and noble creatures - by dint of their association with the French, I will now refer to all lissamphibia as Liberty-hoppers.

That is all.

2003-03-17T15:06:00.000-05:00

ENDGAME. So the French acted like pricks and, in the end, are going to get the war they say they didn't want. Bush is speaking in about five hours, and I reckon it won't be long before the bombs start falling - after all, why give Saddam a chance to, instead of packing his bags, launch a first-strike?

Anyway, it's about time, at least for me. Not so, apparently, for the morning news readers who are all sighing their way through their scripts. Apparently the prospect of one of the great shitheels of all time being consigned to the dustbin of history doesn't cheer them that much.

Cheers me plenty, though.

2003-03-15T18:33:00.000-05:00

WALKING AND CHEWING GUM: Yet another high-level al-Qaida suspect has been captured:

A key subordinate of Osama bin Laden, who U.S. government sources say is in charge of communication among al-Qaida operatives, was arrested in eastern Pakistan on Saturday.

The suspect, Yassir al-Jaziri, is among the leading terrorists wanted by the United States, Pakistan’s Information Minister Sheikh Rashid Ahmed told The Associated Press. He is not on the FBI’s most-wanted list...

He is within the top two dozen most-wanted figures in al-Qaida, the sources said, speaking on the condition they not be identified.

What was that about Iraq distracting us from picking off al-Qaida?

2003-03-14T23:47:00.000-05:00

THE WORTHLESS HALOSCAN commenting system is down again. Anyone have experience with a better, more reliable outfit? Obviously, you'll have to e-mail me to be heard.

2003-03-14T23:06:00.000-05:00

NOW YOUNG NICHOLAS IS ALWAYS AN ANGEL when we fly overseas, but having flown in close proximity to the progeny of permissive parents, I say this guy should get a medal, not a jail term:

A former Northwest Airlines flight attendant was charged with assault for allegedly putting a prescription depressant in a toddler's apple juice to stop her crying on an international flight.
Daniel Reed Cunningham, 33, also was charged Thursday with distributing a controlled substance on the Aug. 25 flight from Amsterdam to Detroit.

A male flight attendant carrying controlled substances after flying the Amsterdam run? Can't imagine! Actually, it wasn't anything that exotic:

The girl’s mother, Beate Turner, told FBI special agent Terry Booth that Cunningham seemed upset when her 19-month-old daughter became restless and began squirming and crying on the flight. Cunningham offered the apple juice three times before Turner accepted, according to the agent’s affidavit. The girl suffered no serious injury.

Turner later noticed the juice was bitter and foamy and had blue and white specks floating in it. Ten days after the flight, she took the juice to University Laboratories in Novi, which confirmed the presence of Xanax, a prescription medication used to treat panic attacks and anxiety, the FBI said.

We have a friend here, runs the neurosurgery department at a big Sydney hospital. When Claire and I asked him with concern about the safety of various products designed to keep a baby happy at altitude, he just laughed and said, "well, when my kids were little and we flew to London, they were doped to the gills the whole way. Didn't hurt them any!" Fortunately, though, we've never had to resort to such measures.

Still, it may be that Cunningham's sin might not be so much drugging a kid without parental permission, but providing stingy service to neighboring passengers who may have been disturbed. After all, he surely could have spared a little for those who would appreciate it:
Cunningham also has been charged with importing more than 100 tablets of a non-narcotic controlled substance into the United States on a different flight in October. The tablets included Xanax and Valium.

Meanwhile, Tex is having some flying anxiety of his own.

2003-03-13T15:39:00.000-05:00

GOTTA LOVE A BLOG with the slogan, "Infidels Against Jihad!"

2003-03-13T15:22:00.000-05:00

FLYING FROM NEW YORK TO SYDNEY a few months ago, I was lucky enough to have a copy of Oriana Fallaci's brilliant takedown of Islamofascists and the Westerners who appease them, The Rage and the Pride. I tore through it over the first leg of the flight; the subsequent fourteen hours were a lot less interesting. Now, Fallaci has done it again, with an essay in the Wall Street Journal, "The Rage, the Pride and the Doubt: Thoughts on the eve of battle with Iraq". There are so many great bits, but interestingly (if not surprisingly) Fallaci is less than optimistic about the future of a democratic Iraq:

As I write in my book when I call bin Laden the tip of the iceberg and I define the iceberg as a mountain that has not moved for 1,400 years, that for 1,400 years has not changed, that has not emerged from its blindness, freedom and democracy are totally unrelated to the ideological texture of Islam. To the tyranny of theocratic states. So their people refuse them, and even more they want to erase ours.

Upheld by their stubborn optimism, the same optimism for which at the Alamo they fought so well and all died slaughtered by Santa Anna, Americans think that in Baghdad they will be welcomed as they were in Rome and Florence and Paris. "They'll cheer us, throw us flowers." Maybe. In Baghdad anything can happen. But after that? Nearly two-thirds of the Iraqis are Shiites who have always dreamed of establishing an Islamic Republic of Iraq, and the Soviets too were once cheered in Kabul. They too imposed their peace. They even succeeded in convincing women to take off their burqa, remember? After a while, though, they had to leave. And the Taliban came. Thus, I ask: what if instead of learning freedom Iraq becomes a second Talibani Afghanistan? What if instead of becoming democratized by the Pax Americana the whole Middle East blows up and the cancer multiplies?

Tough questions - but a bracing conclusion:

As a proud defender of the West's civilization, without reservations I should join Mr. Bush and Mr. Blair in the new Alamo. Without reluctance I should fight and die with them. And this is the only thing about which I have no doubts at all.

Amen! Read the whole thing.

2003-03-13T15:04:00.000-05:00

PLACE YER BETS! Who will be the first to go? The Butcher of Baghdad or the Mangler of Margostan*?

*Scroll to the post, "MARGO vs. THE MAN" if permalinks aren't working.

2003-03-13T14:59:00.000-05:00

OF COURSE, IF THE COMMENTERS to the post immediately below were as concerned about preserving life as they claim - thus welcoming any veto from China - then perhaps they should look at the hard numbers concerning the human cost of the current "containment" regime. To wit:

The Gulf War killed somewhere between 21,000 and 35,000 Iraqis, of whom between 1,000 and 5,000 were civilians.

Based on Iraqi government figures, UNICEF estimates that containment kills roughly 5,000 Iraqi babies (children under 5 years of age) every month, or 60,000 per year. Other estimates are lower, but by any reasonable estimate containment kills about as many people every year as the Gulf War -- and almost all the victims of containment are civilian, and two-thirds are children under 5.

Each year of containment is a new Gulf War.

2003-03-12T20:58:00.000-05:00

BUT I ORDERED THE KUNG PAO CHICKEN! The Chinese, the people who perfected the art of bringing freshly-prepared food straight to your door, have come up with a new twist on the old idea. Instead of delivering steaming hot dumplings, spicy cold sesame noodles, and cookies bearing lame fortunes ("that wasn't chicken!"), China's latest time-saving idea is death on demand - in the form of mobile execution vans to dispatch the estimated 15,000 prisoners sentenced to die in that country every year.

So, lemme get this straight: Liberals who hate George W. Bush and the idea of war on Iraq (to say nothing of self-defence), and who love to complain about Texas' death penalty as evidence of the president's bloodlust, are at the same time prepared to surrender American foreign policy to the whims of UNSC veto-wielding members like China, which has just quite literally institutionalized drive-bys?

What a strange new world we live in.

2003-03-12T16:23:00.000-05:00

WHY ISN'T THE BOYCOTT of MSNBC loudmouth Michael Savage considered a neo-McCarthyite crushing of dissent?

2003-03-12T15:51:00.000-05:00

LIFE IMITATES ART:

Actor Don Johnson is caught up in a money-laundering probe by German authorities, who say they found the "Miami Vice" star in a car with a suitcase stuffed with $8 billion worth of share certificates, bonds and credit notes when he crossed the Swiss border, it was revealed yesterday.

Johnson reportedly told customs officials, "I am going to buy a car," when quizzed about the abundance of loot in the black Mercedes-Benz he was driving from Zurich to Germany with three other men in November.

2003-03-12T04:38:00.000-05:00

THANKS TO ALL OF YOU who continue to click on the "Make A Donation" button during Pledge Week!

2003-03-12T01:39:00.000-05:00

MISPRONUNCIATION OF THE DAY: A spokesman for a supermarket chain defending his company's decision to introduce self-serve checkout: "There's no reason for the public to be circumcisious."

Ouch!

2003-03-12T01:15:00.000-05:00

WHERE'S THE KABOOM? To quote my favorite Chuck Jones character, Marvin Martian, there was supposed to have been an Earth-shattering kaboom!

Sometimes, I swear, it's hard for those of us in the regime-change camp (or at least myself) not to feel a little bit like the blood-thirsty warmonger that the people who put up a "NO BLOOD FOR OIL" banner on their nearby $3 million terrace house think we are. Especially when I read reports that there might be more delays, delays (Marvin again) in liberating Iraq, killing Saddam Hussein, and getting on with the great world-historical gamble that is so necessary at this moment in time to remake the Middle East and clear out all the deadwood of 19th and 20th Century tyrannies that infest the region and threaten the world.

Here's the problem with delaying: It's expensive - it ain't free, either in terms of real dollars or readiness. It's morally sapping, because it gives weight to the do-nothing inertia preached by the peace movement. And, most importantly, it's not going to work. What, does anyone expect that Hussein will suddenly comply this time, if given a few more days and not just offer up a little al-Samoud concession, and drag things out until the weather gets too hot for our troops to wear biohazard suits, or until the West loses whatever backbone it has left?

UPDATE: It's getting serious now, when Channel 10 is running promos saying that they'll break in to bring us coverage of the war "as soon as hostilities begin." They're touting their partnernships with CNN and Reuters, which should be a hoot. Luckily I have Foxtel-equipped friends in near places...

UPDATE II: WogBlogger calls "No War" signs on expensive Sydney houses "so self-indulgent and stupid".

2003-03-10T22:15:00.000-05:00

YOU GOTTA HAVE FAITH. Otherwise, you wouldn't be able to post things as, well, moronic as some of the stuff the kids over at the Islam4Real have in an attempt to justify their religio-political beliefs. Now everyone can believe what they want, but at the end of the day, all religions are just ideas for how to organize one's life and society at large - which makes any faith fair game for Fisking in my book. Anyway, I just fried up a nice bacon sandwich - one of many, many sins I will happily have to pay for if these little sharia-heads are right - and had a good look at my favorite post: "Seven Reasons to read the Qur'an".

I. Inimitable

It dares you to disprove it. How? It says that humans cannot write a book like this even if they pooled all their resources together and got help also from the spirits. The Quran said this fourteen hundred years ago and yet no one has been able to disprove it. Billions of books have been written - but not another one like the Quran.

Well, sure, nothing has been written exactly like the Koran in 1400 years, but disproving it (see below) is another matter. And everyone from Nostradamus to David Koresh has had a go at the rambling, apocalyptic vision thing. It's hardly a new genre.

2. Incorruptible

It is the only religious sacred writing which has been in circulation for such a long time and yet remains as pure as it was in the beginning. The Quran was kept intact. Nothing was added to it: nothing was changed in it; and nothing was taken away from it ever since it was completely revealed 1400 years ago.

To paraphrase Steven DenBeste, isn't this a bug, not a feature? Just today, the Bunyip dug up a wonderful quote from General George S. Patton that suggests it is: "One cannot but ponder the question: What if the Arabs had been Christians? To me it seems certain that the fatalistic teachings of Mohammed and the utter degradation of women is the outstanding cause for the arrested development of the Arab. He is exactly as he was around the year 700, while we have kept on developing. Here, I think, is some text for an eloquent sermon on the virtues of Christianity".

3. Unsurpassable

The Quran is God's final revelation to humankind. God revealed the Torah to Moses, the Psalms to David, the Gospel to Jesus, and finally the Quran to Muhammad. Peace be upon Moses, David, Jesus and Muhammad. No other book will come from God to surpass his final revelation.

As they say on Judge Judy, "hearsay!" Whether Mohammed was a prophet or just a schizophrenic heretic who slammed together a bunch of stuff he heard from Jewish and Christian traders passing through Arabia is a question that'll have to wait for another day. Like the day we each shuffle off this mortal coil.

4. Indisputable

The Qur'an withstands the test of time and scrutiny. No one can dispute the truth of this book. It speaks about past history and turns out right, It speaks about the future in prophecies and it turns out right, It mentions details of physical phenomena which were not known to people at the time; yet later scientific discoveries confirm that the Quran was right all along. Every other book needs to be revised to accord with modern knowledge. The Quran alone is never contradicted by a modern discovery.

Really? What about that great old Hadith about the trees that get out of the way so that Muslims can kill Jews? I asked my friends Abdul and Izzy to come and do a little experiment. Izzy stood behind a gumtree on my street while Abdul came at him with a knife, but the only thing that got damaged was a bit of the Native Species Act. And that whole Koranic thing about covering women in bedsheets isn't medically sound either, leading to vitamin D-deficiencies in places like sunny Saudi Arabia.

5. Your Roadmap for Life and Afterlife

The Quran is the best guidebook on how to structure your life. No other book presents such a comprehensive system involving all aspects of human life and endeavour. The Quran also points out the way to secure everlasting happiness in the afterlife. It is your roadmap showing how to get to Paradise.

Afterlife? Easy! Just Sudanese. Or the Nigerians. Or, for that matter, the Israelis.

7. Your Calling Card to Communicate with your God

Humans are social creatures. We love to communicate with other intelligent life. The Qur'an tells us how to communicate with the source of all intelligence and the source of all life - the One God. The Qur'an tells us who God is, by what name we should address God, and the way in which to communicate with God.

Is it me, or does this sound like when a Christian sidles up to you and says, "you know, I used to have a lot of problems myself until I started reading a certain book. Maybe you'd like to come over and read a few chapters sometime?"

Nice try, kids. But maybe instead of sitting around your university talking about Islam while eating pizza and watching cricket (doesn't all that talk about bats and balls make it difficult when you're so repressed?), you ought to get out a bit, date a little, drink a few beers. And for God's sake, lighten up!

2003-03-10T20:45:00.000-05:00

I WONDER WHAT THE WOGBLOGGER WILL HAVE TO SAY ABOUT THIS? Anti-Semitism has reared its ugly head at Italy's state broadcaster, RAI, where the selection of an Italian Jew has prompted ugly graffiti and editorial complaints about non-Catholic influences.

I've never been to Italy (though it remains a personal goal), though from what I've read, Italians have plenty of other non-Catholic influences that constitute a real threat to the country.

2003-03-10T20:19:00.000-05:00

THANKS TO ALL WHO'VE KICKED IN to the latest Pledge Week. Remember, there's still time to become a Platinum Subscriber!

2003-03-10T09:49:00.000-05:00

ACCORDING TO THE HERALD, if the Bush administration told Australia that morning rush hour would start about six hours after I post this entry, then transit authorities across the nation would be a bunch of toadies for putting a bunch of trains on the rails and busses on the road. How else to explain the "it's-all-about-Bush" spin of their story, "PM toed the line on Iraqi envoy"? According to the article, the expulsion of an Iraqi diplomat who had been spying on Iraqi dissidents in Australia was just another craven act by "Howard the Coward" (as he is referred to at the cafe up the road I frequent):

Australia is the only country to have acted on a confidential Bush Administration request for the expulsion of 300 Iraqi diplomats worldwide on suspicion of spying.

The White House had approached 60 countries last week, just days before the Howard Government ordered the expulsion of an Iraqi official...

The Foreign Minister, Alexander Downer, conceded yesterday that his department had engaged in "extensive discussions with the Americans" before Mr Aaref was ordered out of the country, but he denied suggestions that Washington had pressured the Government into the decision.

Conceded? Of course, if like the Herald's editorial board you live in Pilger World (the real-life version of Mark Steyn's lefty retirement destination),where the US is the Third Reich and Saddam Hussein can never be as bad as Bush (after all, the Butcher of Baghdad was elected, man) doing anything because it's American-inspired is proof of perfidy while surrender is nothing short of virtuous. Which is surely why, according to the report, the hyper-passive France and Germany passed on America's requests to expel Iraqis from their lands.

2003-03-07T13:00:00.000-05:00

READING JUAN GATO'S DISSECTION of Helen Thomas - who should have been sent to the Max KIinger Home for Drooling Lebanese-American Media Figures long ago ("more strained hummous, dear?") - makes it all the more clear why Bush studiously ignored her yesterday.

2003-03-07T01:10:00.000-05:00

OH NO! John Howard went on Fox News, where he said that he would welcome the execution of Osama Bin Laden (I still reckon it's already done and done, mate). Predictably, the media has its panties in a wad; I just heard an anchor on Ten going on about Howard's statement, despite Australia's official condemnation of the death penalty!

Seriously, don't people get the difference between criminal law and a frigging war!?!? Oh yeah, right.

2003-03-06T16:49:00.000-05:00

PLEDGE WEEK! Yes, I know I haven't been posting much lately. And I know that everyone from Tim Blair to Bill Quick recently ran drives that probably sucked up whatever spare cash is kicking around the blogosphere. But a review of WeeklyJames finances suggests it'd be a big help for a few of you to click on the PayPal button on the right. The threat of real employment is becoming almost as real as Saddam's WMDs.

Of course, this is not my first johnny-come-lately attempt to cash in on the Internet. Last time I tried, a few years ago, I left a good job to join a dot-com outfit amidst all sorts of promises, and got screwed and dumped in seven weeks. In retrospect, I don't know what I was thinking - a Baldwin brother was involved!

UPDATE: I've just been called tacky and shameless by a white zinfandel-swilling nudist cracker (albeit a cracker with a lucrative corporate gig). Well, I know my place now.

2003-03-06T15:51:00.000-05:00

THE BUTLER SAID IT: Speaking on Channel Seven's morning show, former UNSCOM chairman Richard Butler just said (this is a near quote) that "the Security Council is already becoming irrelevant...the United States will attack with or without UN approval...We have to accept that this is what is going to happen. They won't get Security Council approval, and then I reckon one of the things they are thinking about in Washington is, 'Why bother?' I think that could be sometime during the course of next week."

Of course, he said it like it was a bad thing, and he and the little chippy who was doing the interview kept talking about an American attack on Iraq as if it were the "worst thing that could happen." I dunno, a nuke stamped "Made in Tikrit" being set off in New York or Sydney Harbour somehow seems a tad more tragic, but maybe I'm biased.

2003-03-05T22:27:00.000-05:00

IT'S BACK TO SCHOOL TIME FOR EVERYONE, it seems - everyone, of course, except for the airheaded teenage girls I saw on TV cutting school because "war is like, bad, for, like stuff" and the hormone-addled boys who are hoping for a little "free love", dangerous piercings be damned. Claire had her first day at UTS Monday, where she is studying nursing on the road to becoming a midwife, and while she reports that her classes seem pretty good, "everything I hate about uni seems to be paid for by those compulsory union fees."

2003-03-03T22:31:00.000-05:00

ONE OF THE MORE ANNOYING HABITS of the New York Times is the habit its reporters have of treating their fellow Americans like some sort of primitive tribe that they themselves are no part of.

2003-03-03T07:19:00.000-05:00

NEVER ROLL OVER AND PLAY DEAD before the game gets started. Some of the best advice I have ever read.

2003-02-28T14:44:00.000-05:00

NOW HERE'S A NEW BLOG that shows potential, simply for its name: Hippies Are For Barbequing.

2003-02-27T20:34:00.000-05:00

RIP RIP, HYPOCRITE! Perth journalism student Gareth Parker reports that novelist Peter Carey has become the latest fiscally flush novelist to knock back a $40,000 prize for no other reason than the award is sponsored by a logging operation, Forestry Tasmania, and rightly asks just what the hell Carey and Company think their books are printed on in the first place.

I have a few more questions. First of all, why is anyone offering forty grand to best-selling authors, anyway? So they can throw it on the money pile? If the people behind these prizes really wanted to encourage good fiction, there are a ton (gross, not metric) of struggling first-time novelists out there who could put the cash to much better use and be classy enough not to look gift horses in the mouth. But more than that, I am annoyed by the self-righteousness of any author who turns down free money that doesn't come from, say, the Kings Cross Smack-and-Hookers Literary Society just to make a point. It's the sort of pretentiousness that led the insufferable Jonathan Franzen to refuse to condescend to being read by Oprah's book club. If Carey found out that the president of Forestry Tasmania bought a dozen copies of The True History of the Kelly Gang to give out as Christmas presents, would he return the royalties he received from the sales? Or use the cash to buy spikes for EarthFirsters to terrorize loggers? Of course not. Customers don't have to pass an ethics test to enter the local Dymock's.

Money's money, guys. Don't make a stink, just consider yourself lucky and cash the checks.

2003-02-27T11:21:00.000-05:00

AIN'T IT RICH? While their people live in abject misery, the rulers of Saudi Arabia, Cuba, Iraq, and the "Palestinian Authority" are quite literally filthy rich. Charming.